So this one is tricky. I am not sure that I feel 100% qualified to be giving any sort of advice on love, relationships, or a combination of the two. However, my many failures and one recent success may be all of the qualification that I need!
Starting out in our 20s, if you are not leaving college with a serious boyfriend and the hopeful promise of an engagement, therefore solidifying your place in a family in the near future, then you are scared sh*t-less of what is going to happen to you. It’s not a bad thing, we are female – we can’t help but insanely freak out about the future; myself included! In fact, I freaked out so much that I actually got engaged my senior year of college, to a person that I loved, but not a person that I was in love with. I just would rather have had that immediate comfort than think of the possibility of being alone. And not realizing that being alone is COMPLETELY OKAY!
Doubt thou the stars are fire;
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
But never doubt I love.
It’s no coincidence that the above quote about LOVE comes from quite possibly the greatest tragedy of all time. I am not a non-believer of love, trust me, I am currently very much in love. But now looking at things from a different perspective, I realize that I went about it all wrong. And that many girls do before they come to the very same realization that I have. Even now, after having been in another serious relationship for a year 1/2, I am constantly fighting the internal war of marriage that goes on inside my crazy brain. I am in love, I want to be with you forever, so why wait? Well, I’ll tell you why. And here’s another shout out to dear old Mom …
You have to be 100% happy with yourself, before you can be 100% happy with someone else. In my previous relationship, I was completely miserable. I hated my life. I tried to fake like things were okay, I made commitments that I thought I should be making because it was supposed to make things better, but it never did. I had to do a lot of soul searching to remember why I loved ME so much. And now, I love me, and I love Matt. And it makes our relationship so much better. Some people are lucky enough to have this confidence early on. But now, teaching girls in middle school, I see more and more of the serious lack of confidence and self-love that is absolutely necessary to make a relationship work.
Don’t rush. Don’t think that just because EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. you get on facebook and see 90 more of your friends who are getting engaged or married or having babies, that this has to be you, too. I whole heartedly feel like there is a person out there for everyone. I had to go through hell to find mine, but I ended up in the happiest place I could be.
When you stop looking, that’s when you’ll find it…
I felt like this was an important post to end my first day. Starting this blog is my way of saying “take what I’ve learned and run with it!” and this is one of the biggest lessons that I have learned, so far!
If at FIRST you don’t succeed, love yourself before anyone else, like Jenna.